Wednesday, October 17, 2007

spilled coffee everywhere

My wife tells me there should be a soundboard of all my crazy rantings (especially while driving), so I've decided to spew my northeast anger and wit forth into the blogosphere. One thing you won't find here, as long as I can resist, is personal information, names of people, etc. The names of those involved in these silly, daily interactions need to be protected - for the sake of the innocent. I'm not sure what that means, exactly, but it sounds good. You also won't see me posting my name, the name of the company I work for, and other information which could make me an easy target. Just to forewarn you about how this blog will play out.

And away we go:

Coffee was everywhere today. I should have stopped to take a picture of it but I didn't. This is probably the third or fourth time in my professional life that I have spilled coffee all over my cubicle.

You know the worst part? It was lukewarm. I was about to go downstairs and fling it back in the caffe employee's face (or simply ask what the hell cold coffee was doing in one of the bins at 7:30 in the morning, right when they opened). So I accidentally spilled it everywhere, and needed to grab a decrepit, germ-filled sponge from the corporate kitchen, along with oodles of paper towels and napkins, and clean up nearly a half-liter of coffee. My laptop nearly got wet and I think one of the USB ports on my docking station is now ruined. My monitor, luckily, sits on a pedastal, and was unscathed. Now my cube smells like coffee with a hint of lemon-scented dish soap. The sponge was nasty. The cube was nasty. It just sucked. And right after a killer hangover I was hangin' onto. If I was gonna spill anything in my cube, I wanted it to be meat or meat-juice. That would rule, and it would keep people away from me.

The Sox lost 7-3 last night, even after Manny, Ortiz, and Youkilis tried to salvage our season by hitting back to back to back home runs. I can't believe the Sox got to Sabbathia and NOT Byrd or Westbrook. I also can't believe the Sox bullpen is so terrible. It makes zero sense. Oh it does.

Bit of humor to finish up. Last weekend, I met up with a bunch of co-workers from my former company, who had laid off a whole bunch of people - including all of them - before I left, too. Good times...lots of scotch, beer, and bad food. Well, I had noticed this piece of graffiti on the wall in the men's room, but it was more humorous the second time around. The first thing I noticed about it was the original writer must be foreign based on the grammar. The response definitely came from an American, arrogant wit and all. Here goes:

Original Writer: "Americans do not know about rest of world! GEORGE BUSH IS TERRORIST!!!"
Response [with arrow leading to original msg]: "Fuck you, you third world cunt."

Perfect. It was a curt, concise response, and extremely appropriate. That's right - this is ourrrrrrr country!

More to come, if anyone decides to read this.

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