Monday, October 29, 2007

Patriots beat Redskins, 327-0

That's what it felt like. The Patriots scored the most points they have all season and the most since 1978 in a single game. I have many sentiments about this year's Patriots team, so I have to bullet point them before this turns into yet another four-page special. Before I do that, though, let me share an exchange I had with GB earlier today...yes, it involves meat. Read from the bottom of the bolded section up as it's an email exchange.


From: GB
Subject: You love it

...by the way, you are one f****d up individual.

From: Me
Subject: You love it

Hey I was in xxxx for halloween..not sure if i texted you but did i tell you that i scared off a guy who was hanging around us & wouldn't go away by telling him of my desire to dress up us Nick the Nazi (yes, I used that word) from Falling Down? The guy was kinda...f***ed up..and he took a picture of the four of us outside ****'s place...then wouldn't leave. He was talking about wanting to be some female cartoon character from the 80's next year for Halloween. So in my half-drunken state I said "dude, i wanna be NICK THE NAZI next year...you know the guy from Falling Down? Come on, Michael Douglas? Have you seen it??" and he talked to me for maybe 20 more seconds until he just said "uh, well i gotta go now....".

I F****G RULE...MEAT HELMETS ALL AROUND!


From: GB
Subject: Re: You love it

No refinery. It would be frightening to look up and see Rosy Colvin or Mike Vrabel barreling at you with grissel hanging from the side of their mouths, blood running down their respective chins and mad cow and/or salmonella shooting out of their pores...

From: Me
Subject: You love it

The best would be if the fans ate it...and that was part of the ceremony. Crowned with a hat of meat, Belichick walks through the bleachers - or better yet, walks down a red carpet on the field where his players hungrily wait to take a big wet bite out of the meat-hat. That would RULE. Then mangini would have to watch with his maggot-infested lid while the Pats players fatten up on raw tenderloin.

Yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh meat-eats!

Dude, these are the things that go through my mind. What the f**k is wrong w/ me???

At the same time, is there any better way to show your dominance in football over another team by ripping into raw meat in front of them, served up by the coach? You know this should happen...albeit in a more refined form, if that's possible...


From: GB:
RE: you love it

Yah, one guy's got angus adorning his squash and the other's wearing rotted, maggot-infested, spoiled bovine atop his lid?

From: Me
Subject: RE: you love it

dude, he should force-fit a HAT OF MEAT on him (hatsofmeat.com). That would rule. Imagine a meathat game? where the loser has to wear a hat made of grade D meat, and the winner gets to wear a tenderloin meat hat? YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH MEAT-FEST, PART I! YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

From: GB
Subject: RE: you love it

I want Belichick to slap Man-gina in the face with a hunk of pork.

From: Me
Subject: you love it

YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! GB RULES! 52-7 WIN BY THE PATS! I WANT THEM TO SCORE 100 WHEN THEY PLAY THE JETS IN DECEMBER YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

~~~~~~~~~~~~


Oh, and yes, I really am that classy. F**k you.


  • In terms of points, the Patriots are putting up a ton, of course...a little more than the 2000 St. Louis Rams. The difference? St. Louis needed to score those points in a lot of games and didn't win a couple close defensive battles that year. The Patriots are dominating every phase of the game.
  • OK, they go for it on fourth-and-one with a 38-0 lead in the 4th quarter. If they kick the field goal they're up 41-0. If they turn the ball over on downs, it's Redskins ball. They let the QUARTERBACK sneak the ball in on a 4th and 1, and that's running up the score...?
  • Let's say they are running up the score. Doesn't matter what the reasons are, the point is, you're in the NFL to win. So what, you lose by 28 points or 48 points...the Patriots have a great offense, and the best coach and best QB in the game. Should they take a knee? Should their defensive ends eat donuts for eight straight days and get lazy to give other teams a chance?
  • I've said for a while - even in this blog - that I wanted to see the Pats hurt teams back in 2005 before the season started. Now they're doing it. Part of me cringes when they go for the "Eff You" touchdown, because they are putting a huge target on their back whenever they leave starters in needlessly for plays like that. But most of me - the part that loves Be Here Now stubbornly, the part that would buy a $180,000 S-Class Mercedes if I won the lottery...ya know, that part...loves it.
  • I can't wait for the Colts game. I think Bill is really just firing up his team to go in to Indy with so much confidence, nothing will stop them. I think it'll be a good game but the Pats pull away in the second half for something like a 48-21 win.
  • I don't blame Belichick one bit for coaching the way he is. He's like a kid in a candy store with all those offensive weapons. He's using them. Big deal. I don't feel bad for millionaire athlete crybabies who try to call out the Patriots for running up the score. You're a man, not a baby - deal with it, take your licks and move on. Our politically correct, passive-aggressive culture is silly - be good, but not too good. Dominate, but not by too many points. This is parity, people; don't mock that by beating up on all the teams that aren't as good as you. Bullshit. Guess those Harvard & MIT kids should leave school because they're smart and it would offend too many people if they were too smart. No one had a problem with the Pats when they won by scores like 12-0 and had an occasional offensive outburst, like 31-0 against Buffalo to end the regular season in 2003. Now that they're embarrassing teams, something's wrong with it because they have the talent to do so. I don't get it...typical anti-New England bias from the football community, because the QB's last name isn't Manning and the Patriots aren't from Heartland, USA. Just like with Boston College...I could take them or leave them, but I kinda like that they will piss the entire football community off in a big way if they win the National Championship.

No comments: